Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Review: Deadly Weapons


Synopsis: After the mob hits a guy with a list, one of the hoods keeps the list for himself to blackmail the people on it. When the mobsters find out he's a double-crosser, they off him, which angers his busty girlfriend. She then goes after them using the only two weapons she has.


Review: Crime drama and sexploitation go together like peanut butter and jelly, and Doris Wishman is certainly one director who made a career off blending the perverse with the criminal. So, you'd think with a gimmick like Chesty Morgan at her disposal, you'd have an easy winning sleaze-fest. Sadly, you'd be very much mistaken.


In "Deadly Weapons," Chesty plays a woman named Crystal, who's boyfriend is a member of the mob. But when he double-crosses his boss, he ends up dead. So, Crystal sets out to revenge her lover with the two best weapons she has: her enormous breasts! That's as far as any story development goes.


To say the plot here is tissue thin, is really an insult to tissues. Little in this freak show makes any sense. We never learn what the information is that the crime boss is so eager to recover. And when Chesty's character goes for her revenge, there is absolutely no planning of any kind. She just packs up and miraculously finds her targets. The attempt for a twist ending, unlike Chesty herself, falls completely flat. Throw in some of Wishman's typical directorial excesses throughout the film, like lingering camera shots of the floor or ashtrays and plants, as well as a group of actors who don't know how to deliver lines, even they are sent by Western Union, and you have a train wreak larger than Chesty's own boobs.


And speaking of which, let me say, as an American male of the heterosexual persuasion, I love me some boobies. But Chesty's aren't sexy at all. Not just because their massive size is so unseemly, but she really doesn't even know how to use them effectively. There's a striptease scene she does about halfway in the film and it has to be the most unerotic thing I've ever seen. She just looks like she walking through the whole movie bored out of her mind. Even a scene where she bathes is completely unenticing.


Is there anything worth seeing here? Well, there is some nice scenic shots of the old 70's Las Vegas and Miami. And the opening montage during the credits is as close as Chesty comes to doing anything of value with her ample mammaries. That's about it, however.


No one ever goes into a sexploitation film like this expecting great cinematic brilliance, but you do expect some level of entertainment value, either by arousal or unintentional humor and a fun plot. This film has neither of those qualities, which given Chesty's figure you might think wouldn't be possible. There was certainly enough potential with the material and assets here to make something that could have been some dirty fun, but there was simply no follow through by anyone involved with this production. What you end up with is an uninteresting and unerotic film, which is pretty much a kiss of death in this genre. Unless you are a total Doris Wishman die-hard, this one should be an easy skip for you.


Rating: 1/2 Star (out of 4)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Review: Sweet Georgia


Synopsis: Georgia is the sex-crazed nympho wife of rancher Big T. Unfortunately, because Big T is an ugly, abusive drunk, Georgia looks for her lovin' elsewhere - from the stud ranchhand, to Virginia, her virgin step-daughter. But when Georgia makes it with dumb ol' Leroy, everything gets violent.


Review: Southern hick sexploitation films from the 60's and 70's are not exactly a rare commodity, but this one is a little something special because you have two of the genre "royalty" working together: Harry "The King of Sexploitation" Novak and Marsha "The Queen of Soft Core" Jordan.

In "Sweet Georgia," Marsha Jordan plays the title role. Georgia is an insatiable nmypho, who has no problem getting it on with anyone, from the ranch hands to her own virgin step-daughter. Seems everyone gets a piece of her sweet loving, except her drunk, fat and abusive husband. But when a sexual encounter in the stables leads to a horrible accident, things take a dark turn for everyone.

As with most films of this type, the production values are pretty low and the acting abilities of everyone, save the sensuous Marsha Jordan, almost non-existent. It's pretty much left up to Marsha and her voluptuous curves to carry the film, which she actually does fairly well. The story is pretty thin, as it revolves around this group of people stay with the drunken head of the household, only until he strikes some gold from his mine. Of course, he never does and this part of the plot is quickly forgotten when everyone starts having their trysts with Georgia. There is some nice full frontal nudity of Marsha, too, which is always a treat for the viewer. The sex scenes are not over too quickly, nor do they feel as though they are dragging on, either. Marsha's girl-on-girl scene with Barbara Mills is particularly erotic. The dialog is corny and unintentionally humorous (with lines like: "Shut up and lay me!") and except for Marsha, all the other actors sound like they are reading their lines off cue-cards. Fortunately, Ms. Jordan's banging bod and steamy screen presence is enough to hold things together and keep it interesting enough until the final act.

The last third of the film does take a rather morbid and dark turn that you don't see coming, which really helps it to stand out from other such sexploitation efforts of the times and will help make it a bit more memorable than most. It's also one of the last films Marsha Jordan did, before leaving the business.

"Sweet Georgia" is slightly better than the typical entry of this genre and shows why Harry Novak really knew how to take such inane concepts as this and make them entertaining, if not always interesting. Genre fan are sure to get some fun mileage out of this effort. If you are a fan of the buxom Marsha Jordan, this one is definitely a keeper for your collection. All in all, it's pretty decent fare for this brand of film and certainly worth a viewing or two.


Rating: 2 1/2 Stars (out of 4)